1. How Emotionally Intelligent People Give Negative Feedback

    How Emotionally Intelligent People Give Negative Feedback

    It's a moment you always dread. Someone--your employee, your partner, your child, or even a vendor--has failed to fulfill a commitment to you, or delivered a poor performance. Now you have to give that person negative feedback. Your goal is to avoid a repeat of whatever went wrong. Your fear is that you'll wind up damaging the relationship and have an even bigger problem than you had before.

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    1. Giving someone effective feedback is one of the most difficult things for people to do well.
    2. Either people are afraid of hurting someone's feelings or they do it so aggressively that they go nose to nose with the other person because they're afraid they won't get what they want.
    3. The longer you wait, the less effective it will be, because they won't remember it to the same degree. It won't be fresh in their minds.
    4. Could we talk about what just happened in the meeting?
    5. I'd like to have this be different next time.
    6. It's about the result of the conversation and how both parties feel about it and think about it.
    7. It depends on what you consider a successful conversation.
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